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Take time to prevent future unhappiness...
  • What is it that drives a marital partner to engage in an outside liaison? How can you guarantee your marriage vows will be held sacred? Life is full of unpredictable twists and turns. Help keep your marital path on the straight and narrow by taking these preventive steps to guard your fidelity.
  • Don't belittle the importance of small talk. You gain nothing by keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. The more you talk the more you open a window to the real you. Friendship is the trait that will allow your relationship to remain strong.
  • Cultivate your friendship. Go places with each other. Talk about your interests or current events in your lives. Do things together. Do not allow yourself to take your partner's friendship or feelings for granted.
  • Be supportive. Marriage is a lifetime commitment. A person's lifetime is an expansive period of time. Things change, people's interests change. Your partner will at some point want to try something new; such as a career, spiritual or life habit change. These are critical moments in your relationship. Even if you don't agree with your partner's choices, approach your partner with sensitivity and understanding. Open minds and open hearts will always find solutions.
  • Keep your passion alive and well. No one wants to feel undesired. Take a moment now and then to ask yourself, "How can I make my partner feel more desired?" Leave little notes around the house. Let your children see you kiss and cuddle. Indulge in an impromptu escapade. Passion in a relationship lets us know that we are more than just a convenience to have around. A faithful partner is one that knows they are cherished and desired by their partner.
  • Don't be predictable. The spark of interest can fade when you feel you know your partner to the point of predictability. Always allow for a little mystery. Even better, constantly create a mystery. Create love hunts with clues they need to figure out. Leave surprise gifts or e-mails for your partner. Occasionally do something that is a bit out of the norm. Go see a movie you wouldn't usually watch with your partner, visit a new restaurant or take a spontaneous day trip.
  • HOMEWORK: For ultimate success, read this article with your partner. Discuss each point and share with each other what you agree and disagree upon. After your discussion, make a list of guidelines you promise you will follow to create an affair-proof marriage (such as the ones above). Then, decide on a method of handling problems if either of you feel things have gone off-course. For example… Step 1: We will both talk openly about the problem, allowing each person ample time to explain their concerns. Step 2: We will both offer a solution, and select a course of action. Step 3: If no solution can be presented we will seek the help of an unbiased third-party. Step 4: If a solution can still not be presented we will seek qualified outside help. (Note: You should predetermine whom or what this will be before an incident ever occurs.)
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